I can’t sleep. I can barely think. I’m in the little room, still sort of drunk, trying to make sense of what happened. The Smiths’ How Soon is Now plays on repeat even though it’s tarnished now. They played it tonight at Flipside. Laurie and I stopped by (for a joke) after drinking a mickey of vodka at her dad’s house. Sure, I knew Mark would be there — he DJs at Flipside on Friday nights.

Mark and I haven’t been talking for a while but I didn’t think in a million years he’d be there — at his work — with Tanya. She’s fifteen. She still has braces. And I certainly didn’t think they’d be making out or dancing to How Soon is Now when he knows it’s one of my favourite songs. He’s really unprofessional.

He said hello when Laurie walked by the DJ booth. I said hi and Laurie nudged me when she saw Tanya coming up behind him with her big braces smile and two Cokes. He gave her a kiss (on the cheek) and she giggled. You can’t be a giggly girl and still expect someone like Mark to respect you. I never giggle. There’s no way this thing with him and Tanya will never last.

I’m never going to Flipside again. Underage clubs are for losers. I call Mark even though I know he won’t be home yet. I hear his voice on the machine and quickly hang up. I feel sick. I won’t let myself cry.

*
Image: Pete Burns of Dead or Alive and Morrissey of The Smiths photographed by Paul Cox for Smash Hits, October 1985.

Welcome to the Little Room is a series of 250-word re-imagined vignettes from my ’80s youth with a focus on music and style. It appears weekly on periodicult.com.

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