Heather C. and I stole a copy of Playgirl magazine from the Eaton’s store at the mall on Friday. I can’t believe a department store like Eaton’s carries Playgirl that it’s right there with the other normal magazines. Sure, it’s on the top shelf with Playboy and Penthouse, but still — it’s right there for anyone to see.
I’m at home now, sitting in the little room listening to Sade and smoking to calm myself down. I’m still a little shaky after getting home. I can’t believe how easy it all was. We took it down from the top shelf when no one was around and put it on the bottom, on top of the stack of Tiger Beats that were laid flat on the part of the shelf near our feet. Then Heather put her binders on top of that and when we went to go she just picked up the magazine with her stuff.
We looked at it while we were waiting for the bus and pulled out the centerfold. The guy is super-gross, with a mustache just like we were hoping and tons of hair everywhere. It’s perfect for our plan. We’re going to tape it to the giant world map in Mr. Andrew’s social studies class on Monday, so when he pulls it down everyone will see it. Even if we do get caught I can’t see Mr. Andrews really doing anything to us. He’s pretty cool and sometimes accidentally swears in class. Plus, he’s from Australia.
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Image: Sade, photographed by Bert Stern for Elle magazine, September 1986.
Welcome to the Little Room is a series of 250-word re-imagined vignettes from my ’80s youth with a focus on music and style. It appears weekly on periodicult.com.
