It’s not that hard to find out exactly what Debbie Harry is saying in Heart of Glass. I’m sitting in the little room listening to it now. I can’t believe Pete actually argued with Kevin and I about this at school today. We were playing the song at lunch over the P.A. system. Pete was sitting outside the office with Jeff and Dana came in and said Pete was singing along so Kevin and I poked our heads out while the song was still on and there he was, singing along, but totally getting the lyrics wrong. We started laughing and Kevin corrected him but then Pete went nuts saying we were the ones who were wrong.

We were not wrong. I mean, we have to submit the lyrics to the Mr. Johnson the vice-principal before he lets us play anything so we just photocopy the liner notes. Like I said, it’s not that hard to find out what the proper lyrics are. And speaking of the Heart of Glass lyrics, we had to find a copy of the so-called “radio version” of the song before we could play it because in the album version at the end she says “as,” like “soon turned out to be a pain in the ass.” As if ass is even a swear word.

But back to Pete. He thinks he’s some sort of music-knowledge god and he doesn’t even know the right words to a song that’s been out for five years. Ass.

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Image: Debbie Harry of Blondie, as featured in The New Music, Harmony Books, 1981.

Welcome to the Little Room is a series of 250-word re-imagined vignettes from my ’80s youth with a focus on music and style. It appears weekly on periodicult.com.

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