There are no pin-ups of Simon Le Bon in my locker — I’m no Duranie. When pressed I will begrudgingly admit that the Carnival EP is acceptable listening, but it wasn’t released in North America and is really hard to find, so if you have it you can listen to it.
I am sitting in the little room listening to Carnival, loud. I’m cutting up an issue of Smash Hits I bought with my babysitting money at the import record store downtown. Snipping out the picture of Bryan Ferry I cut through Simon Le Bon’s face on the reverse. All the girls at school — but especially Anica — are obsessed. They think they’re going to marry him or one of the others. It’s ridiculous. They’re not even that good-looking, and look at the way they dress.
If I had to, I mean had to, like on a dare or something, go out with a musician (though I never would, because you know, you just know, they would break your heart) it would be Bryan Ferry. He’s a gentleman — look at the way he dresses, his suits, his hair. Just listen to Roxy Music and then tell me that Duran Duran is any good.
I lift the needle on the turntable mid-song and replace Carnival with Avalon, close my eyes and picture how shocked everybody would be if I just showed up at the next school dance with Bryan Ferry in one of his suits. They probably wouldn’t even know who he is.
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Image: Bryan Ferry, Boys & Girls, The Face, June 1985.
Welcome to the Little Room is a series of 250-word re-imagined vignettes from my ’80s youth with a focus on music and style. It appears weekly on periodicult.com.
