Angry doesn’t even begin to describe how I’m feeling right now. How Laurie could have said that about me I’ll...
Welcome to the Little Room 
Elvis Costello and the Great Geek Trauma
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Elvis Costello and the Great Geek Trauma
Mohawks, Me and That Chick From Bow Wow Wow
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Mohawks, Me and That Chick From Bow Wow Wow
I’m sitting in the Little Room listening to “I Want Candy” really loud and wondering what my parents would do...
Not Pretty, Not Pink
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Not Pretty, Not Pink
I already have most of the songs on the Pretty in Pink soundtrack. They’re on mix tapes or albums. I...
Just Like Heaven
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Just Like Heaven
Everybody keeps saying that I’m so lucky. I don’t feel lucky. My mouth hurts, and my jaw. I’m sitting in...
George Michael is a Sex God?
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George Michael is a Sex God?
I had a dream about George Michael from Wham! and we were having sex. This was fine — well, maybe...
But Boy George is Still a Boy
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But Boy George is Still a Boy
I wasn’t about to say anything, not while we were out, anyway. It’s Sunday and late. I snuck in not...
Only Grace Jones Could Understand
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Only Grace Jones Could Understand
I couldn’t believe that Grace Jones was on the Pee Wee Herman Christmas Special. She arrived in a big wrapped...
Because Madonna Says I Can
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Because Madonna Says I Can
It takes less than a metre of fabric to make a bustier. But then there’s lining and buttons and definitely...
Bryan Ferry is My Imaginary Boyfriend
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Bryan Ferry is My Imaginary Boyfriend
There are no pin-ups of Simon Le Bon in my locker — I’m no Duranie. When pressed I will begrudgingly...
Let’s Dance: Maybe David Bowie Can Help
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Let’s Dance: Maybe David Bowie Can Help
The college radio station broadcasts live from The Beach on Friday nights. David Bowie is playing and I am in...